In My CD Playa

is a WONDERFUL band called Antigone Rising. They are a group of five women, and their CD From the Ground Up is an acoustic buffet of amazing proportions. The lead singer, Cassidy, has a very strong and perfect voice, and the harmonies are perfectly blended. All the women play their intruments expertly and you can't help but get caught up in the lyrics. My favorite tune is called "Michael," with lines like:

"When they told me you were gone
I hated god for what he'd done
I'm trying hard to understand
And I know I shouldn't want this to be
someone else instead of you
I thought you were so invincible"

These women have a long career ahead of them - as long as they can grow their fan base. They are trying to make their way locally and in small venues, but trust me, they won't be small for long.

A mix of the Ingido Girls and Dixie Chicks... that's a good way to describe them... except they are much more talented.

Go BUY their CD. Visit their site. You'll become a fan.

Wonderful Memorial Weekend

For this first time in a long time, Lindi had TWO DAYS OFF to spend with us. It was wonderful to have some good family time. We had an X-box marathon on Saturday, went to the theatre to see Madagascar on Sunday and to the cemetary on Monday despite the weather. After the cemetary, we stopped over to Winder Dairy for some icecream before heading home for a BBQ with the neighbors. All in all, not a bad weekend, just kinda bleh.

As far as Madagascar, it's okay, but I would wait to see it in the dollar theatre. I know why they are hyping it sooo much - lack of content - and the need to make up the millions they spent making it. Animation was good, voices were good, the plot was really weird. Slapstick Animation. Anywho, rent it (don't buy it) or see it in the dollar theatres.

I would say the best part of the movie was the company (heh heh) and the "special" child a couple rows in front of us. Her laugh was LOUD, contageous and you couldn't help but get caught up in her fascination. She wasn't rude and laughed at appropriate times. She was a delight.

Have Some Fun

It beats the hell out of a litter box.

adopt your own virtual pet!

Having Shells and Cheese Tonight!

Apparently, the right wing American Family Association called for a boycott of Kraft Foods because of their sponsorship of the 2006 Gay Games in Chicago. Kraft Foods could have backed down. They didn't.

Hat Tip: Trey

Here is an email sent by the Executive VP to Kraft Employees about the subject:

From: Marc Firestone, Executive Vice President, Corporate Counsel and Corporate Secretary, Kraft Foods Inc.
Subject: Kraft's Contribution to 2006 Gay Games

The true test of any commitment is how you respond when challenged. Kraft is experiencing this to a degree right now, as a result of our decision to be one of several contributors to the 2006 Gay Games in Chicago. The games will bring together thousands of athletes in a competition that will take place in our corporate hometown.

In recent days, the company has received many e-mails, the majority of them generated through the America Family Association, which objects to our sponsorship. We also have received calls and e-mails - - not as many, but equally passionate - - thanking us for supporting this event. A member of Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's team said, "We applaud the businesses that are sponsors of the Gay Games, including Kraft Foods."

You may have questions or might have had questions from friends and family about our contribution to this event. While Kraft certainly doesn't go looking for controversy, we have long been dedicated to support the concept and the reality of diversity. It's the right thing to do and it's good for our business and our work environment.

Diversity makes us a stronger company and connects us with the diversity that exists among the consumers who buy our products.

Diversity is more than a word many people like to say. At Kraft we truly respect all kinds of differences. And diversity is not a selective concept. By definition, it's nothing if not inclusive. We respect diversity of ethnicity, gender, experience, background, personal style and yes, sexual orientation and gender identity. Recognizing, respecting and valuing these differences helps us be a more successful business and a workplace where all employees can realize their full potential.

For more than a decade, we have had employee councils that promote our awareness of diversity. The newest of our nine diversity councils is the Rainbow Council, which strives to provide a forum for support and networking among gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and transgender employees; raise awareness within Kraft and promote involvement in the community. Each council has an executive sponsor and I have been the Rainbow Council's sponsor since last year.

Through all of our councils, we support various initiatives that demonstrate how strongly we believe in diversity, through involvement in the community. Our sponsorship of the 2006 Gay Games is one of almost 1,700 cash and in-kind grants we make annually.

It can be difficult when we are criticized. It's easy to say you support a concept or a principle when nobody objects. The real test of commitment is how one reacts when there are those who disagree. I hope you share my view that our company has taken the right stand on diversity, including its contribution to the 2006 Gay Games in Chicago.


Contact Kraft and tell them THANK YOU for being a decent company who knows what is good for business and for their community! I am now a loyal customer to all Kraft brands - and you should be too!

And the Winner is...

Carrie!

At least, that's what we think.

Don't get me wrong, up until last night, Lindi and I both were rooting for Bo, and in fact, we still like him a lot. I loved his performance a'capella - he has such a great talent and I was very impressed with his voice without all the singers and musci behind it. His voice is crisp and clear and full of southern flavor. I won't be dissapointed if he wins.

But we just love Carrie and she really pulled it off last night. I don't know why her voice draws me in, but I know in a few years, she will be a major star. She probably already is! When she sings... Chills chills chills!!

So, tonight we will be on pins and needles awaiting the final voting decision. We couldn't even vote because the lines were so busy!







.

The 9 Layers Of Me

Inspired by QuirkyChick

THANKS PIXIE!

At the advice of The Pixie, I picked up a copy of The Perishers CD Let There Be Morning. They have a haunting sound and reminds me a bit of Modest Mouse. My favorite track is Pills, featuring Sara Isaksson, who brings to mind Kate Bush in Don't Give Up with Peter Gabriel. In fact, I thought it was her.

This is not a fast CD. It will not get you pumped for the day or make your workout hot, but it will bring a little mellow to you and is perfect for relaxing background music.

Getting All Political

So I am watching the news last night after American Idol and House, and up comes a news report that states Medicaid has been paying for Viagra for sex offenders. This was coupled with the news that the city of Clinton passed an ordinance banning all persons convicted of a sexual offense from being within 100 feet of a public park.

I am thinking to myself, where do the rights of those who have served their time cross over the rights of the public to be protected?

First of all, I feel Medicaid is just that - an AID - and is not a replacement for those who do not work. I feel Medicaid should only pay for medical treatments needed to sustain life. Chances are, if you are diabled, you have both Medicare AND Medicaid, so Viagra would be covered by Medicare, as it should be.

Medicaid is meant to be a temporary situation for those people who need it. I don't want my tax dollars going to anyone for Viagra just as much as a pro-lifer doesn't want their tax money going to fund elective abortions. It's the same thing. Except you won't die from having sex, but you could die in child birth. (that's another post)

Medicaid is for the sick and needy, not for those who want to get their groove on using taxpayers dollars - REGARDLESS OF THEIR PREVIOUS CONVICTIONS.

Second, the whole public park thing is ridiculous. I abhor sexual preditors, please do not misunderstand me, but banning them from public parks, which their taxmoney paid for as well, is discriminatory. I believe that once you've served your sentence and paid your debt, it is your job to become an active member of society. Some of these ex-cons have been rehabilitated and now have families, and they can't even take their kids to the park?

C'mon, people. If you're so damned concerned about chronic pedophilia, then crack down on parole violators, or even better, make harsher parole laws by extending them... or tougher sentences... or more money in the police budget to catch the criminals.

The reason this gets me is that anyone charged with a sexual offense is affected. You can't tell me that a consensual statutory rape situation is the same as a repeat aggrevated underage-child rapist. We all know that. But for purposes of this law, they are one in the same.

Plus, it doesn't "send a message" to anyone except those who are trying to rebuild their lives after serving their debt to society. Someone isn't going to think "I'd better not rape this child or I can't go to a public park again." That's ludicrous. The offender who wants to offend will break this law to get to a child. The only one's it really hurts are those are are turning their lives around and obeying it.

I am not sympathetic to rapist or child molesters. But the court system often tells us how they can rehabilitate a sexual offender. Apparently, they can't well enough for Clinton's liking. In that case, let's stop trying, take the money out of the rehabilitation programs in prison and put it toward a concentration camp for them. That way, they won't have any effect on anyone but themselves.

The REAL Defense of Marriage Act

Courtesy of Gina Trapani

1,049 federal rights depend on marital status

What the privilege of marriage buys you.

After being in a romantic partnership for almost eight years, after living together for four years, after jointly purchasing property, sharing bills and income, after having a ceremony during which we publicly declared our commitment to one another in front of all our friends and family, Terra and I are still denied 1,049 federal rights automatically granted to heterosexual, married couples.

Some of those rights include:

Hospital Visitation Rights

Married couples have the automatic right to visit each other in the hospital and make medical decisions. Same sex couples can be denied the right to visit a sick or injured partner in the hospital.

Terra and I are registered as domestic partners in New York City, which means we could visit one another in a hospital within the five boroughs. However, if we took a car trip across the bridge to New Jersey and got into an accident, we're screwed.

Health insurance

Many public and private employers provide medical coverage to the legal spouses of their employees, but most employers do not provide coverage to the same-sex partners of their employees. LGBT employees who do receive health coverage for their same-sex partners must pay federal income taxes on the value of the insurance. Same-sex couples cannot even buy a family health insurance policy on the open market.

Terra's employer does not include unmarried partners in their health coverage. As a result, since I'm self-employed, I pay about $350 a month for health insurance. A friend called this the "lesbian tax."

Spousal Privilege

Spousal privilege, granted to married couples, is the right of a person to refuse to testify against their spouse in the court of law.

That means if Terra was sued, I could be called on to testify against her. And every email, phonecall, letter, IM and conversation between us would not be protected by spousal privilege, and could be entered into evidence.

Inheritance rights

When a married person's spouse dies, the survivor can automatically inherit a substantial share from the deceased spouse's estate regardless of whether a will exists. Without marriage, a same-sex partner has no automatic right to inherit.

This means Terra and I have to write wills to guarantee either of us inherits from the other if one of us dies. How many people do you know under thirty who have a will?

Family leave
Married workers in many workplaces are legally entitled to unpaid leave from their jobs to care for an ill spouse but workers with same-sex partners have no right to family leave.

Pensions

After the death of a worker, most pension plans pay survivor benefits only to a legal spouse of the participant - so surviving same-sex partners get no pension support for their surviving partners. Any pension dies with the worker.

Nursing homes

Married couples have a legal right to live together in nursing homes. An unmarried and elderly same-sex couple does not have the right to spend their final days together in a nursing home.

Home protection

Laws protect married seniors from being forced to sell their homes to pay high nursing-home bills; seniors in same-sex relationships have no such protection. A non-married partner can be forced to sell his or her own house to repay a state lien for nursing home care. A non-married partner who lives in the home but does not own it could even be forced from the home to pay nursing home costs.

Retirement savings

While a married person can roll over a deceased spouse's 401(k) or IRA funds into an IRA without paying taxes, surviving partners in same-sex relationships must withdraw the entire amount, pay income taxes on it and also lose the tax deferral benefits of these accounts.

Taxes

Estate taxes. A spouse who dies may leave an unlimited amount of property to the surviving spouse without paying any state or federal estate taxes. Without the benefit of marriage, any amount of property over the federal or state exclusion amounts is taxed.

Income tax.

Every year, Terra and I are forced to file our taxes separately, as "single" people, ineligible for the tax benefits afforded to married couples.

Social Security benefits

Married people receive Social Security payments upon the death of a spouse. Despite paying payroll taxes, surviving partners in same-sex relationships receive no Social Security survivor benefits resulting in an average annual income loss of $5,528 upon the death of a partner.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


And this is just the start. The US Government's General Accounting Office issued a complete list of the

1,049 laws involving marital status

.

Some other relevant bits:

:: George W. Bush proposed a Constitutional Amendment which would define marriage as a union between one man and one woman only.
:: John Kerry feels that marriage is a union between one man and one woman, but does not support the amendment. Kerry thinks it should be up to the states to decide.
:: Tying the Knot is an excellent documentary on marriage and how the inability to marry affects same-sex couples.
The ever-excellent Wikipedia has a section on Same-sex marriage in the United States.
:: Rosie O'Donnell became a proponent of gay marriage after her partner Kelli Carpenter was denied spousal privilege and had to testify against Rosie in court.

File This Under WTF?!?!?!?

Just for Lorene

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

Hat Tip: G-Fry

Please Pray!

Received from Scott's brother this hour:

"I do not know any details but something did happen in Kirkuk. Scott is OK. His neck hurts but he is OK.

This is all I know, He just wanted to get some word out.

Shane

It was a suicide car bombing. I am physically sick. I guess if he was mortally wounded, we wouldn't know as much as we do, his brother would have been notified as next of kin.

Please Pray for him.

A party or Wendover?

A group of people here at work are going to Wendover on a bus, and have invited me to go along. Now, I like most of these people, but I wouldn't say they are my friends or anything. I just work with them. So, I ask my friend Michelle if she's going... no, she has a birthday party. Bummer.

Then Michelle emails me and invites me to the party! It's her best friend's party, and she and I have met a few times and she is really a fabulous person. But I wouldn't know anyone else there.

So... do I go to Wendover with people I know but aren't my friends or to a party with a couple friends and the rest complete strangers?

Hmmmmm.....

All This Baby Talk

has got Lindi and I talking... would we like to have another child? Of course, we have Sarah, but she was almost raised by the time I came along. And I've never given birth to my own child.

Of course, there are some legal and logistic issues. First, we need a bigger house. Okay, Lindi is nearly COMPLETELY out of debt and I am on my way. Lindi does need a new car - easily do-able. I have a great car that will last me 10+ years if I take care of it like I did Vanna II, the blue wonder beast.

Then comes the obvious things to think about:

:: My health. Can my body handle it so soon after surgery? I don't even know if breast feeding will be an option. How much weight should I lose before I conceive?

:: Donor or friend? Do we want to know the donor? Do we want in anonymous? What do we say to our child when s/he asks who their Daddy is? I am big on honesty and all, but how will that make the child feel?

:: We are in our mid 30's. By the time this kid graduates, we will be in our 50's.

:: Legally, in Utah, Lindi would be nothing to this child, like I am to Sarah. Sarah's school knows who I am and is okay with me, but legally, I'm just a friend. We could make sure we were in California when I deliver and have a birth certificate with "parent and parent" like Tre will have... but thanks to Amendment 3, I'm not sure how that will play out.

:: Birth or Adopt? I would love to adopt. Again, legal problems, beside the fact that it costs a lot of money to adopt, especially out of state, which is what we would have to do to both be considered the child's parents.

Lindi says I shouod just go out and get knocked up. She's funny. I'd be more worried about STD's than whether or not I got pregnant!

So, these are the things in my mind right now. I could use some input.

Happy Family Evening

Tre' called me promptly at 5:45pm and opened the package I send her and The Wife while we were on the phone together. Her extended entry has pictures of each of the items we sent her.

It just make me happy we were able to do such a thing for such wonderful people. I learned how to crochet a hemstitch and now I love doing it... so much so, I have people placing orders for their babies to be!

The fam watched the two hour season finally of CSI and man, ldet me tell you, it was amazing. Quentin Tarantino directed this episode and it shows with the dream sequence (black and white) and some of the way the dialogue is delivered. Plus, it centered around my favorite character, Nick Stokes. Oh, yes, he is definately donor material. Lindi and I got a little bit queasy about the whole "buried alive" thing, but we made it through!

And now I am happily at work just going through the morning, putting in my time until the weekend. Hope you all have a wonderful day!



.

Could this Day be any Suckier?

:: I woke up with a headache.

:: I threw up. Felt better.

:: I was late clocking in. Thank the Goddess it wasn't considered a "tardy."

:: Came in to find a letter on my desk that said, "Thank you for interviewing... but..." about the promotion I was going for. Oh, well.

:: I threw up again. Felt worse.

:: Not going to the Napoleon Dynamite Festival - my road trip buddy can't take the time off work because it's fiscal year end.

The only bright spot is that Tre and her Wife's package should be at their house today. I can't wait for the excited phone call. I think I will ask them to open it now instead of waiting for the baby shower.

We could all use the happiness.

I am so frightened

In lieu of a real post, I thought I would mess around. Enjoy!

It's Not Sex. It's ... : The Humpty Dance

Get your own Sex Name

Your Star Wars Name and Title

Your Star Wars Name: Conan Bewes Your Star Wars Title: Tsacho of Enileuqcaj

Your Star Wars Name and Title

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?

Your Boobies' Names Are: Dixie and Daisy

Get your own Boobie Names

Your Mexican Name Is...

Doña Ivonne

What's your Mexican Name?

You Are 55% Normal (Somewhat Normal)

While some of your behavior is quite normal... Other things you do are downright strange You've got a little of your freak going on But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 40%

Pride: 20%

Sloth: 20%

Wrath: 20%

Gluttony: 0%

Greed: 0%

Lust: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 14%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

How Sinful Are You?

Your Linguistic Profile:

55% General American English

25% Yankee

10% Upper Midwestern

5% Dixie

5% Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Your Political Profile

Overall: 30% Conservative, 70% Liberal

Social Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

Updated the Blogroll

Added my locals to a new blogroll, moved some things around.

Let me know if you're missing!

Okay, Okay, I FINALLY DID IT...

Many people have asked me about my wedding. I've been trying to put up a blog to show everyone what a wonderful event it truly was, but with the recent engagement of Lorene and Dylan, it inspired me once again to do it.

I'm pleased to bring you my Wedding Blog.

Anakin Dynamite

It's sweet! Go here, turn up your volume.

Your mother goes to college...

'Napoleon Dynamite' Festival Set

The first "Napoleon Dynamite" festival is set for June 24-25 in Preston, Idaho, the setting for the oddball indie favorite.

Among the highlights of the festival, which is planned by the local Chamber of Commerce: a tater tot-eating contest; bowling; a sweet bike contest; and a tether-ball tournament. All are homages to key scenes in the film.

The film, set in Idaho and with many locals making cameos, became a cult hit on DVD.

Yes, I am going.

I am taking Goldie, my new Saturn... two women (one, a friend from work and a friend of hers named Jen-nay)... my portable DVD player... the DVD of Napoleon Dynamite... my boondoggle keychain with "Vote for Pedro" on it... my Vote for Pedro t-shirt... and heading to Preston.

I think you would really have to grow up on this side of the world to truly appreciate all that is Napoleon Dynamite... the tots, tetherball, boondoggle, Chapstick, sweet bikes, thrift stores (also known as the DI) nunchuck skills... everything. The movie is full of the dry humor that plagues us and makes us laugh - not in the theatres, but hours afterward.

Beyond all that, it boils down to this: Hess made a movie for $200,000. It was shown at Sudnance. FoxSearchlight bought it for around $4 million. In the theatres, it grossed over $44 million and that doesn't include DVD sales or rentals.

All this from a local boy and his wife who went to BYU.

LUCKY!

Wonderful Lazy Weekend

I have been dragging so much this week, I decided Saturday was my day to relax and literally do nothing. I didn't even get out of my PJ's until 4pm!

I stayed in bed most of Saturday and watched movies on my Comcast Digital Crack. I rented "The Grudge" and loved it. I can see how that one would be best watched in the theatre, though. It was very creepy and scarey and I was surprised and pleased that it wasn't gorey. I don't do well with gore, but I love to be scared! I also watched "Mississippi Burning" and "Malcolm X" again, two of my all-time favorites.

Saturday Night, Sarah spent the night with her best friend and Lindi and I had a little BBQ with our neighbors. Her grill is awesome! We retired early.

Sunday, the three of us and Lindi's mom went to see "Monster In Law" at the matinee, and then over to Lindi's Mother's for a family BBQ. I really liked the movie even though the critics didn't give it good ratings. It wasn't a masterpiece of filmmaking, but it was a "feel good" kinda thing. Plus, time spent with my family is always good time.

I finished my project for Tre's Little One and will finish the last project today or tomorrow, then off to UPS to mail it before the baby shower! If it doesn't make it in time, no worries, the baby's not due til July! If you haven't voted on the poll, do it now! I haven't received ONE email from people with their predictions for the due date, so be sure to email me after you vote for a prize from Amazon.com! If I don't receive an email, then I will just send a gift to the baby when it's born!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DYLAN!

Hope this year is the best ever!!!

U.S. Judge Rejects Neb. Gay-Marriage Ban

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - A federal judge Thursday struck down Nebraska's ban on gay marriage, saying the measure interferes not only with the rights of gay couples but also with those of foster parents, adopted children and people in a host of other living arrangements.

The constitutional amendment, which defined marriage as a union between a man and a woman, was passed overwhelmingly by the voters in November 2000.

U.S. District Judge Joseph Bataillon said the ban ``imposes significant burdens on both the expressive and intimate associational rights'' of gays ``and creates a significant barrier to the plaintiffs' right to petition or to participate in the political process.''

Bataillon said the ban beyond ``goes far beyond merely defining marriage as between a man and a woman.''

The judge said the ``broad proscriptions could also interfere with or prevent arrangements between potential adoptive or foster parents and children, related persons living together, and people sharing custody of children as well as gay individuals.''

Forty states have laws barring same-sex marriages, but Nebraska's ban went further, prohibiting same-sex couples from enjoying many of the legal protections that heterosexual couples enjoy. Gays and lesbians who work for the state or the University of Nebraska system, for example, were banned from sharing health insurance and other benefits with their partners.

Nebraska has no state law against gay marriage, but state Attorney General Jon Bruning said same-sex marriages were not allowed before the ban and would not be permitted now.

Bruning said he will appeal the ruling.

``Seventy percent of Nebraskans voted for the amendment to define marriage as a union between one man and one woman, and I believe that the citizens of this state have a right to structure their constitution as they see fit,'' Bruning said.

The challenge was filed by the gay rights organization Lambda Legal and the ACLU's Lesbian and Gay Project.

Lamba Legal attorney David Buckel has called the ban ``the most extreme anti-gay family law in the entire nation.''

Carla Petersen, a member of Metropolitan Community Church in Omaha, which advocates for gay rights, hailed the ruling.

``Every step is a good step,'' Petersen said. ``It really will get the ball rolling again.''

The ruling did not surprise the executive director of the Nebraska Family Council, which led the petition drive to get the ban on the ballot. Al Riskowski said the decision will renew the call to pass a constitutional amendment defining marriage as only between a man and a woman.

Massachusetts has allowed gay marriage since last May. Vermont has offered civil unions to gays since 2000; Connecticut will begin offering civil unions in October.

Friends, Family and Idols on the Web...

I was browsing through my referral pages and came upon caitlin, a lovely little thing from Chicago. She had a few people come to my blog from her site.

So I trapse on over there, and I see me listed third on her blogroll, under "Friends, Family and Idols on the Web," along with Tre and The Pixie.

Wow. I'm someone's Blogger Idol. I don't exactly know what to do with that.

At The Water Cooler

A: "So, I hear you're from Scotland?"

B: "Yes, I was born there."

A: "Oh, so do you still speak German?"





::chirp chirp...chirp chirp...::

Sneak Peak into My World

I bet you all wonder where I sit each and every workday. I have an office that I share with a coworker, lovingly nicknamed Sparky... Picture Napoleon Dynamite loosing his hair... that's Sparky...) we are separated by two cubie walls. It's not so bad.

I was trying out my christmas present from the U (a digital camera) and took a few shots. They are not very good, but hey, deal with it! ::smile::






This is the front view of my computer. Notice the Angelina Jolie picture on my desktop (it has now changed to Jennifer Beals) and the bamboo plant to the right. That's the bamboo plant I accidentally killed by putting it there. So far, I haven't had any bad Chinese food... I filled the planter with water and am using it to grow clippings.







In this shot, you can see my pictures, mostly of my family and wedding. There's my invitation, too. Not much has changed, except I have MORE pictures now, and they are in a standing frame where the bamboo used to be. Oh, and I added a couple of pictures of my cats... and Scott.








What's an office without plants? The one in the big gold planter is Lindi's from 2000. It's still kicking and growing. I've actually had to trim it, the thing was out of control. The plant to the left of it is call a "Mother In Law's Tongue." I guess it never dies. The gals from my old unit gave it to me after the plant they gave me for my wedding died abruptly. In fact, this plant has actually doubled... there are two there now!






And finally, my water jug (filled with Diet Coke) and my radio. Notice the Happy Bunny stickers in the back. I have a couple more of them. Yes, that is a Ghiradelli mouse pad... I use it so my drinks don't get the desk all messy. Thank God I don't have to use that inhaler anymore. Yea, that sucked ass.





.

Cookie Crack

I brought cookies today to work. I probably shouldn’t have done that. While I was at the store last night, I picked up a package of “Taffy” cookies. You know the ones I mean, they are made by the Mother’s cookie Company… your grandmother probably had them in her cookie jar when you were little. Lindi’s mom introduced me to them on Mother’s Day. 12 cookies later, I was hooked… Lindi’s mom is a cookie crack dealer.

These things are so good, I think I would probably pawn my wedding ring to ensure I have them on hand at all times. You think you’re only going to have one, maybe two with your morning coffee… before you know it, you are homeless, smelling funny, holding a change cup, begging people for a few dimes to buy your “precious cooookkiieess.” You know you are picturing it your head – and it ain’t pretty.

Oh, Crap.

Dave Chappelle in Mental Health Facility

NEW YORK - Comedy Central star Dave Chappelle has checked himself into a mental health facility in South Africa, the magazine Entertainment Weekly reported on Wednesday.

The comedian’s whereabouts and condition have been unknown since Comedy Central abruptly announced last week that the planned May 31 launch of the third season of “Chappelle’s Show” had been postponed and production halted.

Chappelle flew from Newark, N.J., to South Africa on April 28 for treatment, said the magazine, quoting a source close to the show it would not identify. Entertainment Weekly said it had corroborating sources for its story.

“We don’t know where he is,” Comedy Central spokesman Tony Fox said. “We’ve heard about South Africa. We don’t know. We haven’t talked to Dave.”

Chappelle’s spokesman, Matt Labov, would not comment on the magazine’s story.

I AM SO PROUD OF SARAH!

.
As a Sophomore, she was nominated for Who's Who of American High School Students! I didn't get that honor until college, but she has so impressed her teachers with her consistant High Honor roll and enthusiasm, her teachers nominated her. I think I will buy her a pendant or charm like mine
I couldn't be prouder.

In other news, she received her learners permit today.

I think my stomach just dropped.

Um.... no.

Your Birthdate: September 10

Your birth on the 10th day of the month adds a tone of independence and extra energy to your life. The number 1 energy suggest more executive ability and leadership qualities than your path may have indicated. A birthday on the 10th of any month gives greater will power and self-confidence, and very often a rather original approach. This 1 energy may diminish your ability and desire to handle details, preferring instead to paint with a broad brush. You are sensitive, but your feelings stay somewhat repressed. You have a compelling manner that can be dominating in many situations.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Long Live Political Incorrectness!

My friend Lindsay told me about a book she was reading called: I Can't Believe You Asked That!

Apparently, this book takes all of the politically incorrect questions you can think of and asks them of the actual group: white, black, gay, straight, male, female and all combinations of ethnicities, genders/sexual orientations, etc. Nothing is taboo.

One of them, struck me as funny: "Why do all white people (and their houses) smell like wet chickens?"

First off, I don't think I smell like a wet chicken. I know my house doesn't.

So I asked my Chocolate Girlfriend here at work. "Do I smell like a wet chicken? Do all white people?"

She turns to me with a quizzical look and said, "I don't think so. But I'm half white and half black, so maybe I'm not the person you should ask."

I said, "I wonder what YOU smell like then..."

She laughed and said, "Maybe a mix of wet chicken and fried chicken?"

God, I love her.

You Know it's a Good Day When...

... you find out your previous employer had to hire TWO people to do the job you did by yourself for two years.

(look in archives for July 2003 - that's when I quit)

It's nice to know.

Dylan Made Me Do It

Click here to translate my blog.

Holla!

A Wonderful Mother's Day

I had a wonderful Mother's Day, as the title on this post would suggest.


Saturday Night, Lindi came home from work to find a present from me and a present from the kitties. The present from me was a sappy card and a bottle of Tylenol Rapid Release. The kitties got Lindi a small hibatchi type bbq with a bag of charcoal brickettes (she hates charcoal) as a joke. Her card said "Ask Mama Connie where your real present is, it's too heavy for us to carry." It's a Gas BBQ, two shelves, side burner, already put together and waiting for her to pick up! I don't know where the kitties get their money, but they spoiled her rotten!

Late Sunday morning, we picked up KFC and went to my mother's house. We brought her a potted flower basket and a Charm Bracelet with charms for each of her dogs! My father bought her a beautiful diamond ring, with three center heart diamonds for each of her three children. My sister gave her more jewelry - a fire topaz ring and necklace and a toe ring!

Afterward, we went to the cemetary and placed lilacs on our grandmothers' graves. We went to see Sarah's Grandmother (on her Dad's side) then out to Lindi's mom's house for a family BBQ of steak and chicken. Sarah gave me crochet hooks and a carrying case (Very thoughtful and sweet!) and she got Lindi that tupperware set that spins around ... which Lindi loved.

The whole day was sooo relaxed, no one was stressed out, we really enjoyed one another's company.

I was a little under the weather and laid down before dinner and ended up throwing it up later that night, but it didn't ruin the day. I was just so happy because my Mom had one of her "good days" and wasn't in a lot of pain. I can't remember the last time she felt as good as she did!

It was really hard for me to go to work today, but I knew I had to. I am just not really into it very much, but I am here. I have a dr's appt today so I can tell her about the pain I've been having.

Lorene seems to think I am overstressed and need the week to myself, and I couldn't agree more. I am going to take it really easy this week and work on my project for Tre's Little One... by the way, on the right hand side of my blog, there is a little poll... be sure to answer it and email me the Time and Measurements of the Little One to win a prize... something off your AMAZON WISHLIST... or you could choose to have something sent to the happy parents instead! You MUST email me to win.

Friday Five

1. If you could be famous for 15 minutes, what would the headline read?
Lesbian Cures AIDS, Famine and Finds a Good Sperm Donor

2. Do you think fame would change you?
I think the real things about me would stay the same. I would probably go broke from donating to charity.

3. Has your name ever appeared in the newspaper? ...what for?
Yes, the usual letter to the editor, or an article about something at my college when i was in the student association. And there was this one time... at band camp...

4. Would you like to be famous for *more* than 15 minutes?
Yeah, why not? Sometimes the longer you are famous the more impact you carry.

5. If you could perform one act of Good while you were famous, what would it be?
There are too many to count. I honestly would give money to homeless shelters and rape/abuse sanctuaries and animal recue groups... I would want to do a lot of good things, and do them anonymously. I don't want credit. It's the credit seeking people that bother me. If I am going to build a building, I'm not going to slap my name on it. I would name it something that is special to the people who know me, really know me, but wouldn't be commonly associated with me. Instead of the "Jones E. Jones" building or arena or hospital, name it something like Commongood Building or Equality Hospital... It's the anonymous donations that are of the most generous.

Happy Kick the Crap Outta Someone Day!

I was standing at the coffee bar this morning, waiting in line patiently for my java, and admiring the Cinco de Mayo decorations. I thought it was rather festive and a great way to start the day.

A woman behind me said, “Why did he decorate? Do the people in Mexico celebrate the Fourth of July?”

I wanted to turn to her and say, “Have you been living in a cave? Did your parents home-school you and the other 28 children in the compound at the same time? If your stumpy brain could even think to Google it, you would find out the it's not Mexican Independence Day. We remember it because Mexicans kicked the crap out of French. Anytime someone kicks the crap out of the French is a day worth celebrating.

"No Hot Tamales for you, Retard.”

God, can’t some people just celebrate the culture and not overanalyze it to death? Apparently not. I wonder if she gets irate about St. Paddy’s Day, too.

Stupid people.

This makes me sick. Sick sick sick. There’s the Death Penalty for a reason, and this woman is it.

Favorite statement of the day: To me, after giving one of my co-workers a sincere compliment, "Ok, now I feel bad for starting those vicious rumors that you are a man-hungry psycho vixen."

Don't worry. Tomorrow is Friday.

Organ Donation ~ The Ultimate Gift

A friend at work had a brother in law who passed away suddenly as the victim of a car accident. His decision to be an organ donor affected 20 lives. This is the letter his widow received in memorium, and celebration, of his life. If anyone is thinking of becoming a donor, here is the reason you should:

March 4,2005

Dear Mrs. Duggan and Family:

On behalf of the Midwest Transplant Network, I would like to express my most sincere sympathy to you and your family on the very sudden loss of your husband, James. Your compassionate consideration of others at such a difficult time in your lives takes extraordinary strength. I appreciated the opportunity to meet with you and learn about James. I could tell by the time I spent with you that he was special and will be greatly missed by many. I hope you can take some comfort in knowing that the true value of his gift is in your willingness to consider the needs of others. The following organ and tissues were found suitable for transplant and were therefore recovered.

Your husband's liver gave the gift of life to a 54-year old gentleman from the Midwest. He is married with three adult children and two siblings. This gentleman enjoys spending time visiting with friends and attending car races. He required a transplant because he suffered from a disease condition that causes inflammation of the liver. I am told that he is doing very well following his life-saving transplant.

James' heart was recovered for heart valve transplantation. These valves will replace defective or diseased heart valves. Individuals who benefit greatly from this type of transplant are children, and other individuals whose heart valves become infected and no longer function properly.

Vein grafts were recovered. These grafts are transplanted in recipients who, because of poor circulation, may be facing an amputation. These grafts are also transplanted as a vein access for dialysis patients.

Your husband was also able to donate the gift of skin. These grafts are used to aid burn victims in the acute stage of injury and help decrease the complications these patients face during their rehabilitation.

One of your husband's corneas was transplanted providing the gift of sight to a 34-year old gentleman from the East Coast. Transplantion has given this recipient a better quality of life with his improved vision. James' other cornea was used for medical study, which is essential to discover new treatments , better understand disease processes, and the prevention of blindness. Thus, your husband will be helping many others for years to come.

I would again like to express my sympathy and gratitude on behalf of the recipients and their families. I know that words cannot eliminate the pain that you and your family must feel, but I hope that you will gain some comfort in knowing that you have given these precious gifts.

May His Memory Be Eternal

Funny Tuesday!

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? .......

GEORGE W BUSH :
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL :
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

JOHN KERRY :
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against it!

RALPH NADER :
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN :
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH :
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build a road for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART :
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL :
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the 'other side'. That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we Boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS :
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY :
To die in the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR :
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA :
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS :
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON :
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE :
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX :
It was an historic inevitability.

CAPTAIN KIRK :
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.

SIGMUND FREUD :
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES:
I have just witnessed eChicken2004, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook, - and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

THE BIBLE:
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road, and there was much rejoicing.

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

Even God Had Trouble...

To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make you chuckle.

Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing he said was "DON'T!"

"Don't what?" Adam replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve... we have forbidden fruit!!!!!"
"No Way!"
"Yes way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
"Why??"
"Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants.

A few minutes later, God saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!

"Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
"Uh huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did you?" said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!" Adam said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed.

BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY! If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?